Part 1

Part 1

Mr.Raizada, when will you remarry? And that opened the flood-gates to a barrage of unwanted pokes. To his credit, he remained calm.

Are you and Ms. Kashap just friends?

Do you miss your wife?

AR Designs had just completed their annual Lucknow Fashion Show at Sheesh Mahal, and as usual it was a Media Frenzy. Arnav had been holding an informal meet with the press after the show and it was going well until, those questions had come up.

"I'm not taking any personal questions. Let's focus on the show, shall we?" His calm was practiced calmness, none of these questions agitated him anymore. They had become so routine.

He took out the Aviators and put them on; it was his way of masking his emotions. The world did not need to know what went on his head. Things were called personal for a reason, and he intended to keep it that way even though news about his hasty elopement the day of his cousin's marriage, and the subsequent fall out with his wife culminating with her walking out on him was like the perfect news for all gossip columns.

Still only so much was known to the world; everything else had to his surprise, still remained in between the two people caught at the center of this rot. For the past three and a half years, it had been him fielding and most often shielding questions about his marriage, and then, about his missing wife. There had been times when he had heard rumors, that had come back to bite him like some garbled up stench, imagine the entire world playing Chinese whispers speculating about your personal life, with only the nastiest bits saved for you. It was not pretty. Luckily, his reach allowed him to twist some muscle, and move things in his favor, no he had nothing to do with his wife gone missing, he had gone mad trying to convince family, friends and outsiders. It didn't matter though because where it mattered the most, he knew that in a way, only he was responsible. But he wore a mask, effectively shielding everything from everyone except those that could read his eyes. But still, every day, every minute, one thought haunted him - where was Khushi? By now he had learnt to recognize the pain his heart bore after these thoughts crossed his mind, it was always the same except the hurt that seared through him, that was never a constant but rather increased exponentially every single time. He believed she was alive simply because he still was, their intoxicated confession etched in his psyche.

After about fifteen more minutes of obliging the media, he took leave. He wanted some space and some time for himself especially now that he was back in Lucknow and at Sheesh Mahal. Automatically as if on cue, he found himself in that room subconsciously halting mid-way conscious not to tread on those scattered pearls. Arnav searched for some green fabric with gold borders, the bright hues that had momentarily rendered his life colorful but he was greeted by the drab beige of its walls instead. He closed his eyes trying to imagine her there- he saw her tear stained face, pleading and very much scared so vulnerable he realized begging him to let go!  Her fear had been so real, how had he misread the honesty in those eyes. That had been the beginning of his madness, of his callousness, he knew. He had failed to read himself that day and that had been his worst failure. The sound of the scattered pearls jolted him out of his reverie, he opened his eyes and she was gone; Khushi was gone! It was just him and an empty room. He needed to get out of this city before it killed him. But he had come back for the same reason so there was no escaping anything. As he walked out through the old corridors of a building that he had once called home, strange images walked past him, voices of his past echoed back and forth, that of his mother, his own laughter, Khushi's pleas, his father's infidelity, the fatal gun-shot and vivid scenes of his sister's marriage falling apart. The walk from the ante-room where Khushi had been kept hostage four years ago to the front porch felt like a walk on burning coal on a bed of broken mirrors.

He was out in the garden before anymore thoughts invaded his mind, "Aman, I'll be going back to Delhi tomorrow morning book me a ticket" He instructed on his phone and looked up to see Lavanya waiting for him at the patio as instructed, dressed impeccably as always. Everyone gossiped about these two and well not for no reason but for now Lavanya wasn't sure what her place was in this man's life. She wasn't thinking too far ahead. All she knew was that her friend needed her, and she was going to stand by him, no matter what!

"But ASR, you said you wanted to stay here a few days?" 

"I changed my mind" he turned to her for confirmation instead he got a hug, "I'll see you tomorrow at the airport?"

He pulled back from her impromptu hug, "What was that for?"

"The show was a super-hit everyone's been gushing about it. Thank you for letting me design the collection"

He smiled, "You deserve all the credit you are getting Lavanya. You worked your ass off for it. Now enjoy that success"

Lavanya called out to him before his long strides took him any further, "Where are you headed ASR?"

"I have some work that I need to finish"

"You have my number, if you need me" He nodded.

She had an inkling, she didn't pry any further. It wasn't as if Arnav had ever been an open book, but ever since Khushi had left him, he had become even more elusive. She was concerned for her friend, and it bugged her no ends that she could do nothing to help him. Was there anything she could do? She wondered. But could she do the one thing that could possibly help him, she wasn't sure. For now she was happy being selfish.

Arnav stopped and parked his car by the side of the busy market street; this was the old part of town, so things were way too chaotic for his liking. He fit in nowhere in this chaos yet nowhere else did he feel as close to her as he did here, everything about these crazy local markets, the stalls, the loud colors, people reminded him of Khushi. He missed her terribly, he missed annoying her, he missed fighting her and he simply missed being around her. Arnav rolled down the windows, and there it was, Gupta Sweets just as it had been in the past. He needed to traverse those steps in between today, he knew. The path to reconciliation had to start somewhere. The shop was unusually busy, but suddenly the voices stopped and all eyes fell on him, he felt out of place. Could you ever be over-dressed to buy sweets, he wondered. He had no idea, as a diabetic man, he had shopped for only one kind of sweets, Jalebis! Arnav took a long deep breath, as his eyes caught sight of Payal, who was yet to see him.

And when she did, the scorn in her eyes told him, he was not welcome. But he had not come for himself; he was there for Aakash and for Khushi's sister.

"How are you Payal?"

"Funny you should ask" she returned the change to her customer and handed over the sweets with a smile on her face, and the scorn was back when she looked at him, "I'm alive as you can see, very much alive" you could not miss the hurt in her voice, even if you wanted to.

"I'm sorry. I know I should have done this earlier but i came here to apologize"

"For what?"

He was taken aback by the straight forward questions, "For everything"

"I'm busy now Mr.Raizada"

"I'll wait" That surprised her, he could tell from her reaction.

That was a small opening he knew, but big enough for him to make a start, he knew she cared. He reminded himself that she was equally hurting, if not more. The truth was, he couldn't see his brother so broken anymore. He missed his wife, and Arnav was going to get them back together if it was the last thing he ever did. So he waited patiently for the customers to clear out.

"Why are you still here? I have to close the shop now"

"Payal... Aakash" she cut him off, "Is your brother not man enough to come here himself?"

He was taken aback for a second time this evening, she had changed and before he could say anything else, she dealt him a vicious blow, one that rendered him speechless, "Can you bring back my Khushi?" He watched her wipe those errant tears away. This wasn't easy on anyone. He was glad she couldn't see his moist eyes behind those glasses he wore. He had no hopes to offer at this point, "Payal, Aakash needs you"

She looked up sharply, gone was the timidity he had witnessed just a moment earlier, "Is it still about him only?"

He wasn't sure how he could undo the past or if that was even possible. But he had to begin somewhere.

"Payal, please" he stopped her, "Hear me out"

"You have five minutes Mr. Raizada"