Part 11

Aakash’s restlessness grew no bounds following his phone call conversation with Nadia that evening, her exact words had been, “Sir, he did not seem too excited when I gave him the address. I doubt he will be following through with it anytime soon…I am sorry I tried my best”

So he followed that up with another call, one that been long over-due. Khushi had just returned home from Mama’s Kitchen, her first complete day and had been recounting the events of the day to Deeya when her cell phone buzzed, “So did you put down your papers yet?” Deeya asked.

“No…not yet” her eyes lit up when she realized who was calling, “I’m just taking a sick leave for now” Khushi told her before she responded to the call.

“Hello” his tone was tentative while her’s resonated with a warmth that warmed his heart, “Jijaji…” Khushi sat down on her bed, while Deeya smiled indulgently cued into their conversation; happy for her friend.

“Khushiji…” he spoke only to be cut off, “Again? How many times do I have to remind you not to call me Khushiji… you are my Jijaji….and” her voice trailed off slightly, “I’m not …”

“YES” his voice audibly louder, “yes…” that got progressively softer…as he dodged the Bhai factor for the umpteenth time, “I’m sorry…Khushi. How are you?” he finally felt himself relax, “I hope everything is okay with you?” he asked careful not to bring up Payal, yet anyway.

“Yes…it is.” She sighed, “What’s wrong?” he asked concerned at the dip in her voice, “Is everything alright?” he asked. And when she remained silent, he knew it was not, “Do you want to meet Payal Khushi?” his response was random and it wasn’t something Khushi had been expecting.

“No…no…” she managed to mask her shock with an emphatic refusal “I mean…no it wouldn’t be right…” she pondered, Could I? Should I? - But those were inner thoughts…they had no voice, still.

“Then why did you call her? She was very concerned after your call” he needed to know.

“I was feeling low…” she hesitated, “I’m sorry, I just wanted to hear her voice Jijaji…it’s been so long. And I miss her” she confessed finally. Surprisingly, it felt better, Khushi realized. Truth was liberating.

“She misses you too Khushi” his voice was low, and the events of the past few weeks were getting to him – he needed a solution to this problem but there was a roadblock, that he just could not deal with. Unfortunately, Khushi failed to realize how low he sounded.

“How is she?” Khushi asked.

“She is … “ Aakash checked himself careful not to blurt out the truth about her pregnancy or to give Khushi any indication that all was not well with them. She had asked for one thing before leaving Shantivan, please keep Jiji happy. He had failed. But he was certainly not going to blackmail Khushi emotionally into coming back just so his wife would return home, it didn’t work that way.

“Jija ji?” lost in his thoughts, he failed to answer her first call, “Jijaji are you there?”she asked again.

“She wanted to talk to you again…had tried calling you back but you had switched off your phone. She misses you terribly Khushi. But she is fine…” How long could he keep up this pretense, he did not know…but his resolve was slowly ebbing away. He could feel the strained lives they all led slowly chip away at this resolve… and he knew it was only a matter of time now.

Obviously the sister’s had not talked about the pregnancy yet, that was terribly upsetting to him but he wouldn’t let that get in the way of this call, “Tell me about you, how is work? Do you like it?” he asked.

“Its…” she stopped, “I might…” but the words were just not there, his concern was growing with every passing stuttering, over the years he had observed the change in her and now he often wondered if this was the same feisty spirited girl he had first seen years ago giving a piece of her mind to his very stubborn brother.

“I’m exploring other options too” she let out a sigh, relieved because she had not even admitted to herself yet.

“Oh!” by now, he was seriously cued in, “Is everything alright? Do you want me to be there? Khushi you have to let me know if there is something wrong?” he reiterated again.

“Everything is fine Jijaji…” she had to allay his fears she realized, “I’m just finding out more about what I like and realize there are so many other options…please don’t worry. I am absolutely fine”

“Good” he spoke, “Khushi…” he asked.

“Yes?”

“If you ever want to meet your family…sister…you will let me know right?”

“Yes, I will” she paused as she realized how her spontaneous call must have made things awkward for her Jijaji. I’m sorry about that call, I didn’t plan it. It just happened, I didn’t mean to bring you in a difficult spot…I’m sorry”

“How is …” she stopped.

“Every one is fine. Buaji, Babuji and your Amma. They all miss you a lot” he spoke while she listened intently somewhere in some deep crevice of her heart a flicker of hope came to life that he would speak of everyone else, and the disappointment was felt when he did not.

Aakash understood her silence, “Nani…Di…and”

“And…?” the words had slipped before she knew they had.

“And…everyone else…” he brought up the last bit intentionally, “Bhai is the same”

That night long after the call had ended, those words would not let her sleep, Bhai is the same.

What the hell was that supposed to mean, and she was angry for wanting to know…and angrier still for not being able to figure out what Aakash really meant.

~~~

Earlier that evening ~

By the time Arnav walked out of the sub-urban gym, it was not only late and dark but raining quite heavily. For some reason, the rains always reminded him of Khushi and now that he was here in this city, where he hoped she was too – the rains had become synonymous with her.  Add to the fact that it had already been two days in the city and he had absolutely no idea how to track her down or even begin somewhere.  The frustration was building up and he had no way of dealing with it.

“May be I should have just gone to that party tonight” he talked to himself as he started the car, his thoughts drifting back to the conversation with Aakash an hour back when he had flatly refused to take part in any PR stunt, “I don’t do parties anymore”had been his terse response. He drove around aimlessly hoping to still his mind but nothing worked, and he stopped his car by the roadside and slumped to the wheel letting the rain beat down on his car. And suddenly the exhaustion felt real, almost like he had aged considerably in the two odd days – and this feeling of being alone gripped him – the silence around him was unbearable and his thoughts – his thoughts drifted back to the innumerable times she had babbled about all kinds of nonsense during their limited car rides; the realization was sharp and real, he missed that voice. He missed her,Khushi… where are you? Arnav hadn’t voiced those thoughts but they had a voice nonetheless.

He switched on the radio in hope that some random song or an annoying RJ would drown out the suffocating silence but contrary to his plans - his senses were overtaken by a deluge of another kind…a song that perhaps gave a voice a yearning that had been suppressed for far too long.

Aaoge Jab Tum Saajna
Aaoge Jab Tum Saajna
Angana phool khilege
Barsega saawan, barsega saawan
Jhoom jhoom ke
Do dil aise milenge
Aaoge Jab Tum Saajna
Angana phool khilege

The song @

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPwTPhFMm3k

He looked up staring at nothing in particular… lost in his thoughts as the images of happier times flashed before his eyes… before he had cruelly stomped on her spirit… crushing her mercilessly… because she was so insignificant, he knew the truth was far from it. Had she bought his lies? May be she had… he wiped the tears away even as he was drawn into this world created by this perfect storm and the song…the voice full of angst…the downpour outside. For a brief moment, he was stripped of all pretences and laid bare…a man who missed the woman he loved. Arnav rested his head back on the seat and his eyes were drawn to the fuzzy images from across the street. He was transfixed in no time… lost in the reality that played out before him so much so that he did not realize when the silence had ceased to bother him, or when those voices in his head had stopped… or the flashbacks had ceased…and the moment had simply come to be“Crazy people” he spoke even as he stared incredulously at those pedestrians across the street, “who stays out in this kind of rain?” But the good did not last for long for more he focused on those fuzzy images from across the street, it began to pinch. The man he could see was almost theatrically trying to charm his way through…and the girl seemed subdued, like she was not impressed yet, or was she holding back? Arnav smiled…suddenly his senses flooded by happier thoughts…would she have? He did not have an answer. His gaze transfixed still…to the fuzzy figures disfigured by the rain…gripped by a strange familiarity with her stand… that drew his focus off his own sorrows to that scene that played out in front of him.

Arnav noticed that the man was holding up the umbrella for both of them… and it suddenly it felt like a thousand stabs out of nowhere… could that have been them?Instead it was a stark reminder of what he had failed at, shielding her…trusting her… ahh the list was endless, it hurt and how! And with that the past had reared its ugly head; sending him into this tizzy - he hated it because instantly everything came back. Arnav shut off the car-radio abruptly, angrily started the engine and made a U-turn… unmindful of pedestrians on either side, even as they cursed at him for splashing water everywhere.

And sometimes life plays cruel jokes because he would never know why there was familiarity with her stand. “It’s not that bad” Raul tried to placate a visibly upset Khushi, “I hope he gets a flat tyre” she cursed at the careless driver, “Idiot”

“Woah!” Raul turned around surprised at Khushi’s sudden 

outburst, “What?” she asked, “That’s mean” and narrowed his eyes at her, “You are evil, aren’t you?” he smiled broadly unable to hide his glee, “You…” pointing a finger at her almost as if he was trying to reiterate his sudden discovery, “are not as nice as you pretend to be…”he had made a startling discovery, one that fascinated him no ends,  “Nice…” she had his approval by now, “Khushi…I just got a glimpse of a different you” his curiosity had certainly been raised, “I hope someone up there is listening to you” he stared at her intently while she was unawares, suddenly wanting to know what this beautiful woman was doing all alone, was she single and ready to mingle? You couldn’t blame a man for wanting to know.

“You have no idea Raulji…” Khushi spoke completely unaware of his thoughtful gaze, caught up as she was in trying to rid the muddy sludge off her suit, “It’s gonna need a wash anyway” Raul said before a sudden realization hit him, “You called me ji?” the mischievous glint was back in his eyes, Khushi had absolutely no idea what was going on so she responded a little clueless as to where this was headed, “Erm…yes…?”

“That’s sounds like an endearment” Raul gave her a freakish smile “You know how wives say here, Suniyeji…” he added trying to clear Khushi’s confusion.

“No no…that’s not what I meant…” she closed her eyes…trying to explain but it was no use, this man was mad, she had decided following her innumerable interactions throughout the day, “Never mind Raul it is then…”and threw up her hands in the air in resignation, “You are impossible” She knew it was useless trying to reason with him, with him in this sort of mood.

They waited silently for the next few minutes before her patience finally ran out, “How long will it take?” Khushi finally broke their impasse, “A full cycle...I’d imagine” he responded a little perplexed.

She followed his eyes to find him starring at her sullied suit, “Oh No no…I meant, when will the wine stock be delivered? May be we should go back inside…?” He had to agree with her, there was no point staying out and getting wet, “Let me call …may be the rains delayed them…” he took out his phone as they headed back inside Mama’s Kitchen, “the roads could be blocked Raul, it’s terrible when it rains here” Khushi added as they rushed back inside aptly scolded by Mama Silvio at the door, “You kids are impossible, and all wet!”

Fifteen minutes later, an angry man drenched in the downpour walked into Mama’s Kitchen and took a seat by the window; all he wanted was a warm meal and the best house wine the place had to offer.

“You are drenched!” Mrs. Silvio looked at him a shocked, “Why is everyone getting drenched in tonight?”

“My car broke down” he said oblivious to what Mrs. Silvio was referring to, or to the fact that the person he was looking for was in the same building!