Part 24

Before I start:

A note of Thank You to all you wonderful people. Thank you for all the messages and PMs.  My mind was not in the right place the last few months and took me longer than expected to get around things but now I'm back and will continue and conclude this story as soon as I can.

Thank you again.

Hope you enjoy the update, it is a little short but its better than nothing and I had to get things started once again.

Enjoy!

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He followed her right away and knelt down on the floor in front of her in a move so uncharacteristically Arnav Singh Raizada, in either action or in words, he did what he had to. Khushi could only stare in complete surprise, as the brute sprung yet another surprise. 

He took her tremblings hands in his, causing her to look down, at her own shaky hands now encased in his, “Khushi…” he spoke urging her to look up, “Khushi please look at me”

And she did like before, to find his eyes reflecting a strange vulnerability – she was certain was a reflection of her own state of being, “I came to take you home” he said.

It was not a lie, there was no pretence; it wasn’t a sham. Truth, was all there was to it. Khushi couldn’t get it. Reflexively, she meant to pry her hands off his hold but he would not let go, instead his kept talking, unlike the LG she had known forever, “I’m not here to let you go Khushi…” his hold was still strong.

“Unless I consent it, it will be coercion” And this time, he removed his hands like they had been suddenly scarred by her words, “And it will be like before” she concluded unbothered by his discomfort – her own egged on no doubt by the mention of the word home. She would defy her heart because it only led down a path of hurt stained with tears. 

“Khushi…please, that’s not what I meant”

“Arnav ji, why do you get to decide everything?” She looked at him in the eyes, there was fear this time, “Why don’t you ask me what I want for a change?”

To her credit Khushi waited for his response and when there was none, she gave him a wry smile and said, “Old habits die hard don’t they Arnav ji?”

He kept starring at her letting her words sink in, “That’s all you remember?”

She simply stared back blankly, their eyes still trying to decipher things, words had failed to convey.  

“Home…” she said, “I’ve been searching for one all my life”

Arnav snapped his head up concerned at where this was headed, “Khushi…” but she motioned him to let her speak, “I lost home even before I knew what a home was… when I finally began to understand what it meant, I realized it wasn’t real but a mirage and I was constantly reminded that I was the outsider. I tried my best to be one of them… and then Sheesh Mahal happened…” Arnav was beginning to dread where this was headed because he knew who the antagonist was in this tale, did he still think he deserved to take her home? But she wasn’t done yet, “Then...you snatched away my mirage in one single stroke and everyday you made it clear to me that, I was not welcome at your home…..I was married but I had no home…or a husband or a family. Why would I ever want to go back, to your home?”

May be it was the finality of those words or the detachment; it hurt him deeply when she addressed Shantivan as his home! And almost mechanically, he got up from his knees and plunked down, defeated on the sofa besides her. At this point, both of them were starring at the nothingness that seemed to surround them at that instant.

But his mind was anything but silent.

Had he truly never given her a reason to believe? Arnav was rendered speechless by Khushi’s question. The silence between them stretched into minutes, and with each passing moment, Khushi’s hopes died a little. She knew it was futile expecting answers from this man, a man of few words - who despite his struggles with words had oddly found plenty to sear her heart into pieces. She knew there was no answer coming her way. So she was the one to break the silence, “It’s okay Arnavji, I don’t expect you to answer...”

“Is that so?” he asked turning towards her, “Is that why you ran away without a trace?” his eyes were grim but focussed on hers in that unrelenting way that unnerved her always. 

And it angered her, his gall to ask her that after everything he had put her through, “Is that what this is all about? Your bruised ego?” she shot back, hurt at his words- hurt at the realization that it was all she was getting after everything she had been through. Well she wasn’t ready to let him steam roll her again, “I held up my end of the deal Mr. Raizada, I stayed for the entire duration of the contract. I left when there was nothing left to hold me back...”

“And we’re back to Mr. Raizada again” Khushi didn’t feel the need to answer to that, “Now that I’m here and trying to make something of my life, you come back demanding answers? Well guess what, if you can’t answer any, you don’t have a right to ask any either” And just as swiftly she turned away from him and lapsed into a defiant silence. Arnav waited for a good few seconds and knowing how stubborn this woman could be - and armed with the knowledge of his own inability to put words together to explain his point of view. He let that path go, there was only one way to let her know, to make her understand - the only way that mattered, the only way all deception would shatter. Possibly the only way, he a man a few words could convey the depth and sincerity of his emotions to her - and so risking everything Arnav Singh Raizada made his move, “Fine you asked for it” and closed in on her without any further warning, “I…umm….What are you doing?” Khushi tried to push him away but he was too quick for her and before she knew it, his lips were on hers. There was no hiding from it anywhere. She may have been shocked but all he needed was a mere touch to set her on fire, and this was a full bloody assault on her senses, the kind she had never been subjected to before. Khushi didn’t really know what hit her and it was too late by the time it registered. He could feel the initial shock that coursed through her at the first touch slowly ebb away as he felt her melt into his arms.That was all the confirmation he needed. But it was short lived, just as she wrapped her arms around him trying to bring him closer… giving in, Arnav pulled back. He had to - knowing very well that he wouldn’t be able to stop at a mere kiss had it gone on any longer. 

After a few precious seconds… of silence were no words were said…Khushi opened her eyes feeling bereft and confused at the sudden loss to find him starring at her. And it no longer felt joyous because she felt hurt, was he trying to prove a point or was it a rejection? Her inexperienced mind only clung to the worst conclusions. Before Arnav could respond Khushi’s self preservation instinct kicked in full force, “Are you crazy!?” she pushed him out of the way and walked past him, trying desperately to get her sanity back. But he wasn’t about to let her go yet. He stopped her, holding her back her wrist, and took slow but deliberate steps that brought him closer to her, his eyes holding hers captive all the while, like they were boring into her soul. There was no escaping from it for her.

Suddenly he was the calmer one of the two, “I wasn’t the only one” he said softly his eyes dropping to her lips in between as if to prove a point.

She tried to free herself from his grip but her strength was no match for his, “Let me go, I’m done here” it sounded more like a plea, “Arnav…” She didn’t want to be in his presence anymore, hell with him and his twisted head, “Call me a cab”

“Fine run away” he let go of her hand and she looked up at him in surprise, “Go Khushi, if you must. But do take my car…Mohan will drop you. Go run away, like you always do”

And strangely, she couldn’t move an inch. 

“I won’t stop or force you to do anything you don’t want to anymore, even if it kills me” His words made no sense, he made no sense - Khushi felt lost.

“What game are you playing now?” she asked wearily.

Arnav held her hands and kissed them, “This is no game Khushi” and she knew he meant it.

“Arnavji..” but he didn’t let her speak, “You asked me a question... remember?”

Khushi wasn’t sure what he was getting at, there was no predicting him anymore, “Just moments ago, you had asked me why you would ever want to go back to such a place?” She still didn’t get it, “What does that have to do with any of this?”

He smiled, and the genuine warmth in the glow of his eyes unnerved her and made her curious at the same time, “It has everything to do with that...” he looked at the uncertainty reflected in her eyes, “You still don’t get it do you?”

She blinked unsure of where this was headed and yet that familiar craving was back almost as if his smile had given it a new lease of life, and then it happened, “Home is where you are Khushi...” he spoke like he had never before - Khushi blinked twice, LG had gone mad, completely this time, “I’m done going around in circles...” she spoke trying to break free of his hold but he wasn’t ready to let go yet, he tightened his hold and moved her closer to himself, “Come back home with me Khushi...” he spoke, “Why should I?” her response was immediate.

“Because I love you” And that threw her off the highest cliff spiraling down the dizzying height into the deepest gorge that ever existed. For the first time, Khushi Kumari Gupta was speechless. And it was Arnav who spoke, “It was the only way left for me to make you understand... this is no game...” she could tell from the look in his eyes that he was telling her the truth, “I don’t know if I can ever make up for what I’ve messed up already in our lives...but if you give me a chance” he paused briefly, “I’m sorry for everything Khushi...for not trusting you, for doubting you and for making your life hell. I admit was wrong. Even when you pleaded me to...I refused to believe you. I may have chosen the wrong way Khushi but I will never be sorry for having you in my life...and that is why I’m here today, thats why I ask you to come back home with me...not because of anything else... but because...”